Monday, September 13, 2010

A Different Perspective

With the world (at least near me) being such a busy place it's no wonder unhealthy levels of stress plague many of the people I come encounter with.  Meditation can help us keep perspective.  Someone wasn't driving like a complete prick just to piss me off.  I personally have found that driving doesn't need to be unpleasant.  If I'm stuck in traffic instead of getting out of sorts I turn up the radio and have some more "me time" where I have no obligations.  Really, there is nothing I can do to change it.  We shouldn't stress about the little things we can not change.  (After all, I only get home 10 minutes later.)

Same thing with social interactions.  A girl at work was talking about me, rather unkindly, to the other girls.  She took it personally that in conversation with one of the doctors I work for I made a suggestion (having nothing to do with her.)  She said I had gone behind her back (she was the office manager - and it wasn't anything I hadn't talked about with her) and that I couldn't be trusted (that I was trying to get some of the other girls in trouble.)  I strongly recommend that you do not friend your boss on FB.  She even posted nasty things on my wall.  Needless to say I was upset.  And by upset I mean going on 45minute long rants with anyone who'd listen and fuming when I wasn't bitching for 3 days.  I was incredibly stressed and miserable.

I can't remember what article I came across on the internet, or I'd post it here.  It changed everything for me.  It pretty much said that practically NOTHING is personal.  They way another person behaves is based on how their circumstances shaped them.  In this case, really, I had done nothing wrong.  Did I have the right to be angry?  Sure, I did.  But how can it be healthy to let that rule my life?  My job wasn't in jeopardy, so I began to let it go.  When I hear that she is telling people things about me I still get mad.  But I let it go after the first 10 minutes.  I still relay the events to others, but instead of going on a rampage I keep it to the facts with a can-you-believe-what-****-she-is attitude.

Another thing that article mentioned was that on the other hand, when we get upset by something another person has done, it is our own hang-up.  If somebody called us a three eyed green monster (or it said something to that effect) we'd probably just laugh it off.  But, if they call us a liar or a bitch, we react because of guilt (even if we haven't lied in that circumstance, but maybe another) or we care of what the people who hear it will think.  That was an eye opener for me. 

Stress makes it harder to overcome illnesses, and in some cases can even cause them; High blood pressure, heart disease, etc.  I know one woman whose kidneys can't produce adrenalin anymore.  We shouldn't let ourselves get to that point.  One thing I am working on is trying to meditate regularly.  Meditation can significantly lowers the risk for heart disease, make decision-making an easier task and teach us how to control our (negative) thoughts.  Meditation helps us to be present, or grounded.  By being in the moment we are not worried about things that happened, or things that may happen.  I find that appealing.  By not being preoccupied we have more time to dedicate to our interests and hobbies (and in some cases, get interests and hobbies.)  It can foster creativity, where before there was anxiety.

Meditation helps a person find purpose in life.  By have a quiet mind we can find answers to questions we may have thought fleetingly.  It can offer happiness an understanding.

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